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Stoicism for Letting Go
Much of our suffering is clinging to what we do not control — outcomes, other people, the past. Letting go, in Stoic terms, is not giving up; it is correctly locating what is yours and releasing the rest.
Stoic ideas for this
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
Epictetus · Fragments
“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“For a man to be happy, he must live in accordance with nature, and this is impossible unless he has learned what is in accordance with nature and trained himself to do it.”
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
“Lead me, Zeus, and you too, Destiny, to where you have assigned me.”
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
“I follow willingly; but if I do not, I shall be forced to follow.”
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
“The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.”
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Confine yourself to the present.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.
Epictetus · Discourses
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.”
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
If you live in harmony with nature you will never be poor; if you live according to what others think, you will never be rich.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Wealth is able to buy the pleasures of eating, drinking and other sensual pursuits, yet can never afford a cheerful spirit or freedom from sorrow.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
The happiness of those who desire to be popular depends on others; the happiness of those who seek wisdom rests in themselves.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought round to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Do not stop it. Is it not yet come? Do not stretch your desire toward it, but wait till it comes.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“Never say of anything "I have lost it"; but, "I have given it back." Your child is dead — it has been given back. Your wife is dead — she has been given back.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
If anyone is the object of another’s envy, do not concern yourself; remember that no one can be unhappy for the sake of another.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
When you are faced with a problem, consider whether it is a small thing or a great thing. Most of our problems are small things.
Epictetus · Discourses
The wise man is not subject to insult, because he knows himself to be of no account in the eyes of those who insult him.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Nothing befalls a man that he has not deserved.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Do not pride yourself on any quality which is not your own.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Do not waste the remainder of your life in thoughts about others, unless you are led to think of them for the common good.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
If you set your affection on things outside yourself, then what you have will be at the mercy of whatever others do, and you will be at the mercy of fortune.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Every person must be content with what he has.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“Things themselves are indifferent; it is our use of them that makes them good or bad.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
A cone is not harmed by being broken, nor is a man harmed by what happens to him from outside.
Epictetus · Discourses
If you would have these things, remember to ask yourself whether you can do without them.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
The rich man is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
“Fate leads the willing, and drags the unwilling.”
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare. This will show you that you need not despair if you must do without luxuries at any time.”
Seneca · On the Shortness of Life
If you are exiled, you will be exiled from a place; if you are cast down, you will be cast down from a place; but wherever you go, you take yourself with you.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
If you set your heart on what is not your own, you will lose what is.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Lead me, O Zeus, and thou, O Destiny, whithersoever I am by you assigned to go; for I will follow without flinching; or if I shrink and be unwilling, I shall follow all the same, and be none the less a coward.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Wealth is the ability to fully use the goods of fortune.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Creatures are snared by their desires, as with bird-lime.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The essence of good and evil is in the will, not in what befalls a man.
Epictetus · Discourses
If you have a fever, do not be angry with your body; it is a natural occurrence, not an insult.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
When someone steals your lamp, remember that he gave it up for a thief.
Epictetus · Discourses
The happy man is he who is content with himself and his lot.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
A good man does not allow himself to be upset by insult, nor to be troubled by the fault of another.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
There is no shame in being outdone by a better man.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Nothing befalls anything which it is not by nature made to bear.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Avoid immoderate laughter, and do not let your mirth run to excess.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
With regard to whatever objects give you delight, remember to say: what is the nature of this? It is mortal, and will not be yours always.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
When you have been delighted by a thing, reflect on its nature: you have received it, and you will return it.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
The wise man has few wants, and therefore has much.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
The one who wants little is closer to the gods than the one who wants much.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Eat to live, and not live to eat.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
All things are accomplished by Zeus, and nothing comes to pass without him.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
That which happens to every man is like a stone thrown up in the air; it falls back to the earth, and this is not a fault of the stone.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Do not quarrel with nature; it is not a personal enemy, but the order of things.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Remember that you are an actor in a play, of such a kind as the author chooses; for it is your business to act well the part given you.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
He who is content with enough is rich.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Virtue alone is sufficient for a good life; all else is indifferent.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Be satisfied with the smallest effort that your nature allows, and do not strain after more than is needful.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Bear what you must, and do not add resentment to the burden; for the resentment is heavier than the burden itself.
Epictetus · Discourses
If you are content with little, you need little; and needing little, you are free.
Epictetus · Discourses
Do not judge a thing good or evil by your desire, but by what it is.
Epictetus · Discourses
Do not set your heart on what fortune can take away.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Measure yourself not against others, but against what you are capable of.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
True wealth is not in what you own, but in what you can do without.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
The willing are led by fate; the unwilling are dragged.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Bear what comes with a tranquil mind, and what comes will seem lighter.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Nothing new happens; all is the same round, and the same things happen again.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Give thanks for what is past; it has taught you, and teaching is a kind of gift.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Withdraw from what is not yours gently, and you will not be torn.
Epictetus · Discourses
True pleasure is not in abundance, but in moderation and a contented mind.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Be grateful for what fortune gives, and unafraid of what it takes.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Lead me, O Zeus, and lead me, Destiny, to the goal appointed for me.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Be content with your own share, and you will never be poor.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Seek the simple life; the simple is within your power, the extravagant is not.
Epictetus · Discourses
Attend to what matters, and let the rest be as it will.
Epictetus · Discourses
Put it into practice
A Stoic tool is only useful if you actually use it. Try this small loop the next time letting go shows up:
- Name it plainly. Say what is happening without the story you are adding on top of it.
- Split what’s yours from what isn’t. Invest your energy only in the part you can actually choose.
- Do one small thing. A single deliberate action today beats a week of intending to.