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Stoicism and the Dichotomy of Control
The foundation of Stoic practice: some things are up to us (our judgments, choices, efforts), and some are not (reputation, health, fortune, other people). Peace comes from investing yourself fully in the first and staying indifferent to the second.
Stoic ideas for this
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Some things are within our power, while others are not.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“For a man to be happy, he must live in accordance with nature, and this is impossible unless he has learned what is in accordance with nature and trained himself to do it.”
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
“The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.”
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Only the educated are free.”
Epictetus · Discourses
“Everything has two handles, the one by which it may be carried, the other by which it cannot.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire.
Epictetus · Discourses
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.
Epictetus · Discourses
“Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.”
Epictetus · Discourses
“Be like the cliff against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Have respect for the part of yourself that is able to form an opinion and govern the rest.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
It is in our power to have no opinion about a thing, and so be at peace.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“If a person handed over your body to some passer-by, you would be angry; do you feel no shame in handing over your mind to any reviser, to be confused and troubled by him?”
Epictetus · Discourses
If anyone is unhappy, remember that it is because of himself alone that he is unhappy.
Epictetus · Discourses
It is in our power to have no opinion about a thing, and so be at peace.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Sickness is an impediment to the body, but not to the will, unless the will itself chooses.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Nothing happens to the wise man against his expectation.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
He who does not know what the universe is, does not know where he is. He who does not know for what purpose the universe exists, does not know who he is, nor what the universe is.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Look to the governing reason.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
If you set your affection on things outside yourself, then what you have will be at the mercy of whatever others do, and you will be at the mercy of fortune.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“Do not be carried about by external impressions; with every impression, say: "This is an impression, not the thing itself."”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“Things themselves are indifferent; it is our use of them that makes them good or bad.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“The beginning of philosophy is the consciousness of one’s own weakness and incapacity in the things that concern the conduct of life.”
Epictetus · Discourses
A cone is not harmed by being broken, nor is a man harmed by what happens to him from outside.
Epictetus · Discourses
“Fate leads the willing, and drags the unwilling.”
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
There is no place for fear in a place where one is not master of oneself.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
If you are exiled, you will be exiled from a place; if you are cast down, you will be cast down from a place; but wherever you go, you take yourself with you.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Lead me, O Zeus, and thou, O Destiny, whithersoever I am by you assigned to go; for I will follow without flinching; or if I shrink and be unwilling, I shall follow all the same, and be none the less a coward.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
To live happily is an inward power of the soul.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“The present is the only thing of which a man can be deprived, since this is the only thing which he has.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Remember that to change your mind and to follow someone who sets you right is also the part of a man.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The essence of good and evil is in the will, not in what befalls a man.
Epictetus · Discourses
When a man speaks ill of you, do not defend yourself against his words, but set right your own thoughts.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
If you have a fever, do not be angry with your body; it is a natural occurrence, not an insult.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
When you are in a position of authority, remember that the person you were before the office will remain.
Epictetus · Discourses
What is the first business of one who practices philosophy? To get rid of thinking that one knows.
Epictetus · Discourses
He is free who lives as he wishes; he is the master of himself who cannot be prevented in his will.
Epictetus · Discourses
Fortune can take away wealth, but not courage.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
We must not endure with patience what we can avoid; but we must endure bravely what we cannot avoid.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
It is a great thing to have a single standard for life.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Philosophy is the medicine of the soul.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
“Though thou shouldst be going to live three thousand years, and as many times ten thousand years, still remember that no man loses any other life than this which he now lives, nor lives any other than this which he now loses.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Be not ashamed to be helped; but rely on yourself first.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Nothing befalls anything which it is not by nature made to bear.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The first thing to be attended to is the matter of our judgments; for what is not in our power to do cannot be in our power to do well.
Epictetus · Discourses
If a man could be persuaded that he is akin to God, he would not think of himself as worthless or mean.
Epictetus · Discourses
Confidence should be founded on caution, and caution on confidence; for confidence without caution is rashness, and caution without confidence is cowardice.
Epictetus · Discourses
The matter on which a good man should be employed is the will.
Epictetus · Discourses
The good things of prosperity are to be wished for; but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.
Seneca · On Providence
Nothing is so bitter that a calm mind cannot find comfort in it.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
The wise man looks to the future without fear, because he has already made provision for it.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Virtue is nothing else than a will in accordance with reason.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
All things are accomplished by Zeus, and nothing comes to pass without him.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Live according to nature, which is to live according to reason.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under observation in life.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Look beneath the surface; do not let the several qualities of a thing escape thee.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
That which happens to every man is like a stone thrown up in the air; it falls back to the earth, and this is not a fault of the stone.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“The mind which is free from passions is a citadel; no man has a stronger place of refuge.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
A man’s life is what his thoughts make it; be the master of your thoughts, not their slave.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Consider the soul; it is not disturbed by the things themselves, but by the judgments which it forms about them.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Do not quarrel with nature; it is not a personal enemy, but the order of things.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
When someone provokes you, remember that it is not the person who provokes you, but the judgment you form about him.
Epictetus · Discourses
Remember that you are an actor in a play, of such a kind as the author chooses; for it is your business to act well the part given you.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
If you would be happy, keep your desires and aversions within your power, and do not stretch them toward what is not.
Epictetus · Discourses
It is not in my power to avoid what befalls me, but it is in my power to make good use of it.
Epictetus · Discourses
The soul is like a body: it becomes what it is exercised in.
Epictetus · Discourses
Keep yourself steady in the face of both good and bad fortune; neither be lifted up by one nor cast down by the other.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
We are not given much, but we waste what we are given.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
A tranquil mind is the first and most important possession.
Seneca · On Tranquility of Mind
Take food for the body, but take wisdom for the soul; the one keeps you alive, the other makes life worth living.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Virtue alone is sufficient for a good life; all else is indifferent.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
I am a part of the whole which is governed by nature.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The things you cannot do, do not wish to do; and the things you can do, wish to do.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The mind is the ruler of the soul, and of itself it is a calm and clear thing.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
To the rational being, the same act is at once natural and calm.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Before blaming others, first look to yourself, and see what part of the fault is yours.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Practise then from the start to say to every harsh appearance: You are but an appearance, and not the thing you appear to be.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Do not be carried away by the impression; examine it, and then decide.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
If a person handed your body over to any passer-by, you would be angry; yet you hand over your mind to whoever comes along, and feel no shame.
Epictetus · Discourses
Freedom is not the power to do whatever you please, but the power to do what is right.
Epictetus · Discourses
Bear what you must, and do not add resentment to the burden; for the resentment is heavier than the burden itself.
Epictetus · Discourses
Do not judge a thing good or evil by your desire, but by what it is.
Epictetus · Discourses
Life is divided into three periods: past, present, and future. Of these, the present is short, the future doubtful, the past certain.
Seneca · On the Shortness of Life
Learn each day something that will make you wiser, even if only a little.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Be firm, not hard; steady, not stiff. Strength that cannot bend breaks.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
The riches of the mind are the only riches that cannot be taken from you.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
The willing are led by fate; the unwilling are dragged.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Happiness is a good flow of life; and this is living according to nature.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
Close the eye of the mind to externals, and turn it inward; there is the source of calm.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Bear what comes with a tranquil mind, and what comes will seem lighter.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Let the governing part of you be just; and all the rest will follow.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Life is short; make the most of what is small.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Cultivate the ruling reason within you; it is the one thing that is fully yours.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Do not be a mere professor of wisdom; be a practitioner of it.
Epictetus · Discourses
What you would do, do often; for habit is formed by repetition.
Epictetus · Discourses
Your choice is the one thing that is entirely your own; guard it well.
Epictetus · Discourses
Withdraw from what is not yours gently, and you will not be torn.
Epictetus · Discourses
Do not blame fortune for what you can bear; blame only the judgment that says you cannot.
Epictetus · Discourses
Keep watch over your impressions, as a guard over a gate; not everything that approaches may enter.
Epictetus · Discourses
Endure and abstain; these two words contain the whole of the art of living.
Epictetus · Discourses
Set the mind in order each morning, before the day sets it in disorder.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Live calmly in the present, and do not borrow trouble from a future that may never come.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
It is never too late to begin to live well.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Rest is not idleness; it is the renewal of the will, and the wise man takes enough of it.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Live according to virtue, and no circumstance can make you poor.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
A steady mind finds joy in the ordinary, and is not shaken by the extraordinary.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Lead me, O Zeus, and lead me, Destiny, to the goal appointed for me.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Habit is a second nature.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
The storm rages outside; be calm within, and the storm cannot touch you.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Waste no time arguing about what a good man should be; be one.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Your mind takes the color of your thoughts; choose them as you would choose a dye.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The obstacle is not a detour; it is part of the road.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Do not act for the praise of others; act for the worth of the act itself.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Look at things twice: once as they appear, and once as they are.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Give to the present the best you have, and it will give back the best it has.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Decide first what kind of person you want to be; then act on every occasion accordingly.
Epictetus · Discourses
Do not pretend to a virtue you do not practice; the pretense will be found out.
Epictetus · Discourses
Seek the simple life; the simple is within your power, the extravagant is not.
Epictetus · Discourses
If you are insulted, bear it; the insult is in the judgment, not in the words.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
Win small victories over yourself, and the great ones will follow.
Epictetus · Discourses
Trust your reason, not your impressions; the one is yours, the other is not.
Epictetus · Discourses
Attend to what matters, and let the rest be as it will.
Epictetus · Discourses
Virtue is not a gift; it is a discipline, and it is won by daily effort.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
The wise man is never unprepared, because he has considered all that may come.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Learn from everyone, for there is no one from whom nothing can be learned.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
No one is wise alone; wisdom is formed in the company of others.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
Train the body to endure, and the soul will follow; for the two are one household.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Reason is the ruler of the universe, and the mind shares in it.
Cleanthes · Hymn to Zeus
Put it into practice
A Stoic tool is only useful if you actually use it. Try this small loop the next time stoicism and the dichotomy of control shows up:
- Name it plainly. Say what is happening without the story you are adding on top of it.
- Split what’s yours from what isn’t. Invest your energy only in the part you can actually choose.
- Do one small thing. A single deliberate action today beats a week of intending to.