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Stoicism for Anger
Anger feels like energy aimed at a problem, but Stoicism treats it as a judgment we make, not a force that makes us. The fix is not to suppress the feeling but to question the story we tell about what offended us — most of what enrages us is interpretation, not event.
Stoic ideas for this
“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of things.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.”
Seneca · On Anger
“Anger is a short madness.”
Seneca · On Anger
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“From my grandfather Verus I learned good morals and the government of my temper. A disposition to be unmoved by trifles, and patient when provoked.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
The whole body is affected by anger, and its natural appearance is turned to ugliness.
Seneca · On Anger
Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
When a person has done something wrong, know that it is not his will but his judgment that is at fault; for no one is willingly deprived of the truth.
Epictetus · Discourses
When someone provokes you, remember that it is not the person who provokes you, but the judgment you form about him.
Epictetus · Discourses
Anger harms no one so much as the one who is angry.
Seneca · On Anger
Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue; words once spoken cannot be taken back.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
When someone acts badly toward you, ask what kind of things seem good or bad to him.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Anger is the enemy of reason; where it enters, judgment leaves.
Seneca · On Anger
Anger makes a fool of the wise man before it makes him an enemy.
Seneca · On Anger
Put it into practice
A Stoic tool is only useful if you actually use it. Try this small loop the next time anger shows up:
- Name it plainly. Say what is happening without the story you are adding on top of it.
- Split what’s yours from what isn’t. Invest your energy only in the part you can actually choose.
- Do one small thing. A single deliberate action today beats a week of intending to.