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Stoicism for Criticism
Criticism is only useful if it is true; if it is false, it is someone else’s error, not yours. The Stoic listens for the part that helps, ignores the rest, and does not hand their self-worth to the reviewer.
Stoic ideas for this
“How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“If you want to improve, be content to appear foolish and stupid to others.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
Zeno of Citium
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
“Keep silence for the most part, and speak only when you must, and then briefly.”
Epictetus · Enchiridion
He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.
Epictetus · Discourses
When anyone is harshly treated or insulted, remember that he thinks he is right.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
The wise man is not subject to insult, because he knows himself to be of no account in the eyes of those who insult him.
Seneca · Letters from a Stoic
“When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.”
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Remember that to change your mind and to follow someone who sets you right is also the part of a man.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
When a man speaks ill of you, do not defend yourself against his words, but set right your own thoughts.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
A good man does not allow himself to be upset by insult, nor to be troubled by the fault of another.
Musonius Rufus · Lectures
Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
Look beneath the surface; do not let the several qualities of a thing escape thee.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue; words once spoken cannot be taken back.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
Before blaming others, first look to yourself, and see what part of the fault is yours.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
If a person handed your body over to any passer-by, you would be angry; yet you hand over your mind to whoever comes along, and feel no shame.
Epictetus · Discourses
Look at things twice: once as they appear, and once as they are.
Marcus Aurelius · Meditations
If you are insulted, bear it; the insult is in the judgment, not in the words.
Epictetus · Enchiridion
We should listen to our friends, for they see our faults more clearly than we do.
Zeno of Citium · Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers
Put it into practice
A Stoic tool is only useful if you actually use it. Try this small loop the next time criticism shows up:
- Name it plainly. Say what is happening without the story you are adding on top of it.
- Split what’s yours from what isn’t. Invest your energy only in the part you can actually choose.
- Do one small thing. A single deliberate action today beats a week of intending to.